Music I Love: Old school Russian/ Europop

I know it's been a while but I was inspired and decided to do another buhlog. Today's special shout-out goes to Jessica M. aka Tumor for listening to my incessant, jukebox-like, singing in subsequent classes.

For those of you who don't know me, I was born in the former Soviet Union in a small country called Moldova. That means that I was susceptible to the European cultural practices. I would say that every culture has its own way of expression and customs but Russian speaking individuals take it to a new level. Yes, I eat red caviar that my dad and his friends drive for 40 minutes to get. Yes, I had to wear woolen tights instead of socks. Yes, I wore bows in my hair that were larger than my body. No, I was not allowed to sit on cold surfaces due to a superstition that it would make me sterile (ptu, ptu, ptu...spit on the devil). Yes, my mom and her friends enjoy pleather, sequins, and clothes that 18 year old girls would shy away from. Yes, my dad has a mustache, is anatomically connected to his bluetooth, wears the occasional addidas sweat suit, and sounds like Borat. My culture is like the Lochness monster--elusive, interesting, and all around strange. As David Sedaris said in his book (to be discussed in a later blog) if your family is "weird" you are doomed to be "weird." I believe that this idea is true and observable. In elementary school I felt like an immigrant child. In middle school I still felt like somewhat of an outsider but my assimilation was in full swing (except for my Bat Mitzvah party being at a Russian restaurant) and I swooned over the Backstreet Boys with the best of them. By high school I was ready to abandon all remanants of my "Russianess" and pretend that I was born in Cleveland and that my family hailed from Iowa. By the time college rolled around I realized that I could not abandon my Russian roots and that, in fact, I will embrace all the things that I tried so hard to extract from my background. I began taking Russian language and film classes and eventually taught a Russian language lesson (as unqualified as I seem to be). Now, I am an advocate of animal print (although in small amounts) and I try hold on to my culture.

That leads me to the one part of my background that I never wanted to abandon. I don't know what kind of music you all listened to as children. I assume some classic rock Country? Showtunes? Not me. I was raised on trashy Europop. Does Modern talking ring a bell? What about Boney M? No? That's what I thought. I want to set-up a scene for you all. Imagine 15 drunk women and men in a living room with an extremely laquered table. It is covered with caviar, shish kabob, meat salads, fish salads, sardines, potatoes, and 13 other kinds of salads. Two bottles of Stolichnaya vodka and Hennesey have been finished and now it's time to dance. A song starts playing and the women and men start to gyrate and bounce around the living room, pretending to sing the lyrics of the song that just come out as incoherent made-up words.

These women and men are my parents and their friends. The song "One Way Ticket" by Boney M. comes on and in unison the women and men sing "Vun vey teekeet, vun vey teeket." The children sit there in shock and are pulled into the throng of dancing, intoxicated, loud speaking adults. The music is too catchy to ignore and one can't help but to gravitate to the fast, steady beat. If I am to be honest I would say that I never hated the music and, to this day, feel a pang of nostalgia anytime I here these old Europop songs. They are a staple of any Russian speaking household and bring about feelings of joy when they are heard. Another popular way to relay this music is through the use of cheesy Russian coverbands who are commonplace in every good Russian restaurant. These coverbands usually consist of a greasy lead singer who looks like old-school Michael Bolton, two girls who are probably fresh-off-the-boat from Ukraine or Belarus, and some sad little keyboardist. This motley crew of a band provide hours of fun and dancing as they play songs that only someone who is from a former Socialist nation can remember and appreciate. I can't say that I hated it and when I hear one of these songs I am reminded of the fun, carefree times of dancing and revelry.

Here are a few examples:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Y7c1_gK8Os --- Cheri Cheri Lady by Modern Talking

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zx7fFnxNH4U--- One Way Ticket by Boney M.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5i8WgY-P25o --- I Saw You Dancing by Yaki Da

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=77N5F4WUtJ0--- Malchik Hochet V Tombov by Murat Nasyrov

I would recommend you listen to these if nothing more than for the pure comedy of the videos (Definitely the first one)

So there you have it, a large part of my life in a nutshell. As much as I tried to escape the fur coats, the bright pink lipstick, and the purpulish/red hair, I feel as if it is my fate and I'm okay with that. My kids will probably not hear these songs and will more than likely listen to Lil' Wayne, but I will hold on to the songs and remember them as part of my childhood.

Love,

Diana

ты отказала мне два раза не хачу сказала ты/ вот какая ты зараза девочка мои мечты (Academia duet)

T.V. Shows I Love: Nip/Tuck

Time for a new blog I suppose. The exam I have tomorrow will kill me orrrr...kill me. Today's special shout-out goes to Nicole O. for being a very accomodating and helpful roomie! It is completely necessary for me to write a new blog because if I didn't I would have to face the inevitibility that I have other, more important things to do.

There is a small, elderly Israeli woman sitting next to me at the library. I know she's Israeli because she's teaching the man sitting with her some Hebrew words. All I know is "Aifo ha shirutim?" This means, "where are the bathrooms." For me this is a very important question and I am proud of my knowledge. This man has now jumped into the world of theology and philosophy, saying that he wants to see what is on the other side....hmmmm. Interesting. I am not a great believer in Heaven or anything to that effect but if there is some mystical utopian place to go I hope it's full of m & m's and salmon...and maybe some asparagus. I don't know what it says about me that my ideal universe would contain various foods. In additon to food, I would also really like unlimited This American Life podcasts and a library full of books that I like and an infinite amount of time to read them. Also, in this "perfect" place I want a good singing voice and I'll have collaborations with Michael Jackson. I would be the superstar of heaven! Either way, no matter what awaits all of us I'm no rush and I hope none of you are either. Update on the Israeli woman: she's is teaching Arabic cuss words...yessss.

You know what else my Heaven would contain...unlimited episodes of NIP/TUCK! BEST SHOW EVER. The intensity and storylines are unbelievable. I've been watching since I was 16 or 17, quitely, so my parents wouldn't see that I was watching Christain Troy be a womanizer (in more ways than one). Tonight marks the start of the very last season and it's bringing the DRAMA. Okay, update on the Israeli old woman: she is now yelling at this grown man for including a letter that is not contained in the word she is showing him.."WHERE IS THE 'R?' WHY ARE YOU SAYING 'R?' STOP IT!" Sounds like my grandma. Anyway, back to Nip/Tuck. The storylines are so complex and intriguing. I can't even begin to explain the plots. It's not too late to stop watching but beware it's violent, graphic, overtly sexual. Viewer Discretion is Advised. So tune in on FX and if you so choose get all of the seasons on DVD and watch them!

Okay, I must be studious now. I have a world of knowledge to acquire and less than 24 hours to do it but really, if I took a philosophical approach (Aristotle, Socrates), I would say that what we learn here is not the real world and that there is some parallel universe. I wonder if my grades matter there? Either way, I'll be missing Nip/Tuck and that's not a perfect place for anyone.

Love,

Diana

People I Love: Adrien Brody

As much as I love studying for grad school entrance exams I decided it was time for a new blog. Special shoutout goes to Jessica F. for seeing me on my way to the rec and for being a special roomie.

As I sit at the library and look at everyone "dilligently" studying I realize that I am so screwed for these next coming months. How do people do it? How is possible to fit in all the work that one must do between exams, applications, and resume writing? I do not know how it's possible but I guess I will find out. Maybe if I wasn't sitting here blogging I would be more efficient with my time. Nonetheless, college is the devil's work and if it wasn't our need to be productive, contributory members of society none of us would be sitting in libraries becoming machines that work for the Man. Sorry, I started ranting and the obligatory "Fight the Power" nonsense began to spew from my brain and into my fingertips. I do have to say that these standardized test that are pushed upon students are unnerving and unhealthy. There is no reason that I should be panicking over the inablitiy to create a bridge from the analogy "Coax: Blandishments." What the hell are "blandishments?" Ah, it seems as though my second attempt at conquering the GRE may be in vain. I do not think there is any way to imbue my brain with the knowledge necessary to get an acceptable, let alone, respectable score. C'EST LA VIE.

They should have a section on the GRE about Adrien Brody. I would ACE it. I have made it a personal goal to see every movie in which he has acted or appeared or been to. I'm failing miserably but eventually I will watch King Kong all the way through and the Brothers Bloom are next on my list. I know a lot of you are thinking, "Ew Diana, his nose is too big!" Wrong. You know that they say about big noses.......better resonance in the pharynx. I know that's what you all were thinking. Others may say, "Ew Diana, he's ugly and skinny." Wrong! He's not.

--->Look, you cannot tell me that he is so unattractive you wouldn't want him to be the father of your children...or gay lover (if you happen to be male).

---->In this picture he got confused and kissed Halle Berry instead of me. Alas, Adrien Brody and I will never start a family and I will continue to adore him through films. I want to say that he was incredible in The Pianist and that is regardless of Roman Polanski's misbehavior and love of pedophilia (sicko).

It is time for me to continue studying and daydreaming about the day that Adrien Brody comes knocking on my door, telling me, "Diana, you don't have to take the GRE."

Love,

Diana

Music I Love: The Golden Oldies

Hello mes amis, mis amigos, my friends, and whatever other language you want it in. Today's special shout-out goes to Michelle L. for being the best volunteer partner ever and allowing me to talk her ear off with today's current events and my psychological problems. Thanks Michelle.

Speaking of volunteering, Michelle and I spend our Friday mornings with children who have autism or other cognitive impairments. It's interesting to say the least. It makes me realize just how out of tune with children I really am. It's little things like how to wash a kid's hands....especially when you're a germaphobe and think that children are breeders of disease. I swear when I have a child, it will walk around in a plastic biohazard suit...like they wore when testing for anthrax. Anyway, back to the little nuances of taking care of children...apparently children are not born with the ability to think abstractly...news to me. I mean, I've never done anything like help a child go to the bathroom or wash their hands or feed them a snack. Bottomline is that I'm child illiterate and will DEMAND a training manual for my first child. If a manual like that does not exist then someone better get on making one NOW...preferrably the woman from the show the Super Nanny.

Now on to my main point. I LOVE THE GOLDEN OLDIES. That is music from the 50s and 60s. To me it's interesting that I have an affinity for this music because it's not like anyone introduced me to it. How can you not appreciate a song like Unchained Melody or some good Frank Sinatra. The music was so much more innocent than the kind of stuff we have now. I mean sometimes I rather listen to a song about going out on a date rather than a song about someones ass being so large that one could use it as a table. My obsession right now is Allan Sherman, the singer of the popular "Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh." You could say he was the original Weird Al Yankovic. Yesterday I watched Ghost (best movie ever) and downloaded Unchained Melody immediately after I wiped away my tears when Patrick Swayze's character Sam walked off to heaven....sigh. I love the simplicity and romanticism that the songs relay from that time. I also really like the singing comedy from that era like the Smothers Brothers and again, Allan Sherman. Motown is amazing too, of course.

Here are some samples:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFVrtjUmz7c ---> My Old Man by the Smothers Brothers absolutely classic.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sAmWwEIpbs ---> Pop Hates The Beatles by Allan Sherman with Dean Martin and Vic DeSimone...hilarous.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-idDbIfGvw---> Unchained Melody by the Righteous Brothers

These songs make me nostalgic for a time that I never even experienced. I can envison myself going to a malt shop (whatever that is) in my poodle skirt waiting for my boyfriend Ricky or Bobby or Billy or Irving (I don't kwow why that one popped into my head) to meet me there. If you ever feel the strong desire to listen to the tunes of the 50s and 60s, iTunes radio has an entire section devoted to the Golden Oldies so why dont you all take a gander and a listen.

Gee wiz! Look at the time. I'm going to go think about Sock Hops (I dont know what that is either) and go engineer a protective suit for my future child.

Love,

Diana