Today's special shout out goes to Lauren E. for being just as strange as I am.
I have returned from Mexico and with me I bring an ear infection, some sort of splinter caused by a thorn from the Caribbean Sea, digestive issues, and a cold. All in all it was a good time. It's always an eye opening experience when I find myself among a bunch of Europeans. By association, I am considered to be "European." Although, if I were to be perfectly honest with myself I am becoming more of a hillbilly for every year that I have lived in the U.S. and that, my dear friends, has been a long time. I learned a few things while I was in Mexico as I will outline:
1) Other countries care about soccer. It is acceptable to go running through the pool with your country's flag tied around your neck if your team has won (I'm pointing my finger at you, SPAIN).
2) Our ideas about clothing are different. Manpris are perfectly acceptable and coveted in European countries and every other country that's not the U.S..
3) Parents in other countries don't coddle their children. I witnessed an American parent calling her child "sweetie" when trying to make a point. A minute later, a Russian speaking family walked by, the kid dropped their sippy cup, and the parent asked her if she was an idiot (or rather a "piece of wood" if literally translated). I have long since known about this discrepancy in parenting styles...because I have lived it...unfortunately.
4) Other countries think that we only listen to 40's style music and country. During an "Around-the-World" performance, the Americans were represented, first by dancers dressed in WWII era costumes and second, changed into assless chaps with fringe on them for the country music number. To make matters worse the people sitting in front of me (Americans) were wearing cut-off t-shirts, cowboy hats, and proceeded to yell "yeehaw" and pretend to lasso something as the music continued. Finally,
5) We, in the United States of America, have some serious body image issues. I don't mean to stereotype (HA!), but it was very easy to scope out fellow Americans on the beach. First, American men tend to wear shorts that go past the knee and fit loosely on the body. European and South American men tend to wear swim trunks that leave little to the imagination. It's hard to play volleyball with a bunch of old Polish guys in Speedos. American women tend to cover up more, as well. By that, I mean that we are very aware of every imperfection and will do everything in our power to cover it. Let me just say that there was a group of very large girls from Scotland who laid in their lounge chairs, reading their books, and drank their daquiris without apologizing for their fat rolls. They seemed very liberated and comfortable in their string binkinis (although, I did not know they were made in those sizes...not even trying to be mean). I found myself comforted around other Americans after I spent an entire day trying to understand the Spanish.
Speaking of Spanish, I am OBSESSED with Enrique Iglesias right now and his album. His album Euphoria is great. Full of dance songs and Spanish language love songs and all around enjoyable songs. Now, I could be partial because I have loved Enrique since he came out with "Bailamos." In general, I'd like to think that Enrique is singing to me. Weird? Yes. I don't know if he is still with that Anna Kournikova nonsense, but if he wants a short, chubby, Jewish girl, who also speaks Russian (although broken) I am available. I used to think Enrique was a bootleg Ricky Martin, but obviously Ricky Martin likes people who are more similar to him and by that I mean men. Enrique tends to have a habit of pulling girls on stage with him during songs like "Hero." I find this extremely awkward to watch for multiple reasons. First, he generally picks a girl who is plain to say the least, definitely not the kind of girl that he would ever be seen with in a normal public appearance. It's almost like he talks to his band before he goes out on stage and they make a bet on how awkward and unbearable he can make the moment. Second, he places his hands in places that are unacceptable on a large stage in front of thousands of people. The only time this hand placement is allowed in public is when there is alcohol involved and one thinks they are in private. Third, he ends with a kiss. I want to know how much he has to drink before he performs so that he can oh so gently kiss the less than beautiful girl he has pulled up on stage. View the awkwardness for yourselves:
Bottom line is that he is great to his fans and I can't say I would be upset if he pulled me up on stage even if it meant that he thought I was the craziest looking person in the audience. I like the fact that he has kept relevant and proceeds to come out with music that is fun and addicting.
It would have been nice if Enrique showed up in Mexico. We could have watched the World Cup together. He could've showed me how to play beach volleyball (I have no business playing). We could've frolicked through the sand and then I would have awoken from my heat stroke and realized it was all a dream. Bailamos.
(P.S. I realize that I may or may not have insulted/offended at least 3 different groups of people with this post. I apologize.)
Love,
Diana
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